I am cracking up at the photos guys post on these online dating sites. There’s the:
Shirt off ab-flexer-guy (of course). Note that often times these guys also “forget” to include a photo of their actual face, which is suspect. So unless you plan on just having conversations with his stomach, he’s likely been hit with the ugly stick. Also note that usually the ab-flexer-guy is also bathroom mirror self-portrait guy (see below).
Bathroom mirror self-portrait guy. This shot screams out “Hey baby…I really like to look at myself in the mirror, so you should too!” It also forces me to ask a number of questions like how much time do you spend in the bathroom…alone…flexing, posing or spankin’ the monkey…eek!
Shotgun wielding guy. Uh…no comment.
Obscure images guy. If you’ve somehow managed to distort the image of you so much that I can’t even tell what you look like, you will not be added to my shopping cart. I don’t care how cool it was that you superimposed an image of an orange peel over your face or vice versa, I don’t want to date a fruit.
Photo of you on the horizon guy. If I can’t see you because you’re the size of an ant on the horizon, I won’t date you. I guess that makes me shallow. Or, maybe I’m just smart.
Fabio-wanna-b-guy. If your hair is longer than mine and you’re wearing a Speedo while lying on the beach as waves crash over your body, you’ve got no chance in hell buddy. None at all.
Guys – if you want my advice – which you probably don’t, but since this is my blog I’ll give it to you anyway – get a friend to take a picture of you and if you don’t have friends, go find one. Keep your shirt on, cut your hair, don’t wear a Speedo, and avoid showcasing your weapons of mass destruction.
[...] true. There might be a few drunk lonely nights where you make bad decisions like emailing the bathroom-mirror-self-portrait-shirt-off-ab-flexor guy, but at least you don’t GO HOME with this guy, which is a likely scenario when [...]